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Parastu Ahang Mehdawi

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Cosmos

paramehdawi · February 26, 2023 ·

Is it true that the universe listens to our thoughts? 

The morning of October 17, 2022, formed its halo on the horizon of Ontario, Canada. The rhythm and drum of a new day beat from the trees on the streets to the windows of the neighbourhood houses. I embraced the day. The fresh aroma of coffee floated around the kitchen, fused with thoughts and senses, reciting an ode. The soft odour nudged…nudged…and twinkled the night’s dreams into reality.

I took my time with my last sip of coffee. I was in the company of my solitude and deep conversation. I tasted each drop with my soul. The foam kissed my lips and lingered until I snatched it away with a curled tongue. Caffeine trickled down into the abyss inside, caressing each organ individually.

I placed the coffee mug on the counter. My hand reached for the laptop on the robust veneer kitchen island, and I began working. The silent body of the keyboard, cold from the night before, shivered beneath my palm. The warmth of my skin wrapped around the laptop like a blanket, trimming down the device’s humming. The little blue envelope in Outlook caught my attention—an email from The Writers’ Union of Canada, where I had applied for membership almost eight weeks ago. My hand hovering over the cursor, the body of the letter hung open, and I read. We extend a warm welcome…

Beyond the kitchen window, the wind pushed, and gravity pulled the golden leaves from a half-naked tree, sending them drifting in the air. My chin moved up as the autumn scene in my backyard stole my gaze and fluttered in my thoughts.

I was born in 1971 in Kabul, Afghanistan, where the Hindu Kush Mountain shoulders the central and western area, the great Khorasan, which was home to Rumi (Jalal al-Din Mohamad Balkhi) in the 13th century.   

In 1973, The Writers’ Union of Canada came into existence in Toronto, Canada. Stretching between the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, Canada is the second-largest country on the world map. Nobel Prize winner Alice Munro is a member of the union. Margaret Atwood, whose name is widely known and echoes loudly in Canada and abroad, is also a member.

Growing up with books, playing with words, and reciting poems, I penned prose poetry and fostered the writer inside me. At the same time, the war in my homeland between the communist government and Mujahedin began in 1978. The homeland conflict devoured my youth, chewed on my dignity, and spat me out stateless on the global skirts at the age of 18.  

In June of 2022, after seven years of kneeling behind my laptop and wandering, I published my memoir A Quest for Identify: From Afghanistan to the World. The incarcerated voice inside screamed aloud and freed the silenced writer with a newfound platform.

Click, click, click—the sound of something moving under my fingertips. The words adorning the illuminated screen seized my attention back to the kitchen, and I saw myself writing.

Science moves us forward in life while art binds us together on earth.

paramehdawi · August 23, 2022 ·

Happy First Day of August, 2022

paramehdawi · August 1, 2022 ·

I breathe life when I bate with freedom in the morning, beckoning fundamental human rights strolling in the warm summer’s afternoon. When the sun kisses me goodbye for parting to shine elsewhere on my home earth, I hug peace to dream. I smile at the face of truth and love and believe that is the reality, not a mirage. Is that true?

Phoenix

paramehdawi · June 14, 2022 ·

And the narrator quotes, “The phoenix is a bird that lives for a long time. On the last day of her existence, she is not quiet. When twilight drops its black curtain on the face of the horizon and the stars twinkle around the moon when the shadow of illusion and fear hugs the town when the nocturnal birds honour the dusk. The phoenix starts singing in distress. Her voice deepens as the sky changes to an orange-pink colour, and she becomes louder and louder. Alas, amid the unrest, the phoenix gets into blazes and burns to the ground. Dawn advances with the sun climbing on the shoulder of the cliff, and a young phoenix is born from her mother’s ashes and soars to a new adventure. This is the fate of the phoenix.”

What is it? Do I see a parallel between this story and a human’s path through life? I wonder, as long as mankind sees Mother Earth dress and undress into spring, summer, fall, and winter. Until we taste the nectar of life and smell the scent of an annual cycle. As long as we hear the birds’ chorus among the trees, our hearts desire and transcend for a lover’s touch.

And such is the destiny of mankind.

Excerpt from the memoir A Quest for Identity

Coffee Shop

paramehdawi · May 31, 2022 ·

“Your house shall be not an anchor but a mast. It shall not be a glistening film that covers a wound, but an eyelid that guards the eye.” (Gibran Khalil) 

The coffee shop is crowded, as usual, the coffee shop that I go to on my days off with the company of my books, pen, and papers to reflect on my thoughts. It is autumn, a time of full maturity. Sun and clouds play hide and seek; the light comes and goes as it wishes. The trees, how can I describe them? They are so compelling, shiny, vibrant, and breathtaking colours that make me sit down and kiss Mother Earth’s hand. The crisp air embraces my face and slightly triggers all my senses, uplifting my moods. 

I enter the shop and see a vast lineup; I assemble behind the others with my occupied mind. As the lineup gets smaller and smaller, I get closer and closer to the cashier. I approach the bar. The barista, who calls me by my name with a beautiful smile on her face, is exuberant. She enters my order into the cash register; I am a regular customer, and she knows my order. She still has a grin on her face as she finishes my order. The contagious smile passes from one barista to another; it resonates with happiness. Another lady prepares my order. We greet each other and have a little exchange, and she puts the tray in front of me. Her joyous smile illuminates my heart and envelopes the tone and atmosphere of the shop. Holding the tray, I find my usual spot beside the window and cuddle into the seat. 

I take a deep breath and look around, following the same smile circling around from person to person. How noble, I say to myself, how beautiful, greeting everyone with a smile. To live in the moment, not to dwell on personal life? I salute this great demeanor, SMILE. 

Spirited and elevated by this tenderness, I collect my thoughts and start drinking my coffee. As I am sipping, I open the computer and go on Facebook. I love social media, how it connects me with my friends and family around the world, and how it unfolds and broadcasts newly received or noteworthy information at any time.

Scrolling down the page, I stop at a story talking about the recent Canadian election of a cabinet of almost 50 percent women. I am curious, and I start scrutinizing the story. I glance at the pictures of the elected women. Triumphantly, I lift up my head from the screen and gaze out the window for a minute with both hands resting on my face. A sudden dance of tears run down my cheeks as I learned about them. I try to hide my tears, tears of pride for each of them and the people who believed in them. Nodding, I stare out the window in confirmation — everything in life is possible. 

I pause and pull myself together, examining my surroundings it’s business as usual at the shop. I scroll down, ignoring a few posts that are not crucial. I go back to social media and want to finish my coffee and go on with my daily routine. 

I push back the computer; my heart sinks within me. An appalling picture of a woman covered in blood pops up before my eyes. She is struck down on the ground with men around her standing with stones in their hands. With trembling fingers and a gaze of disbelief, I try to understand what is written underneath the picture. I read that Rokhshana, a young woman, has been stoned to death in central Afghanistan after being accused of adultery. Not long ago, I remembered Farkhunda Malikzada, who was publicly killed and set ablaze in Kabul, Afghanistan, in March of the same year. 

Panic suspends the flow of air, and my breath locks in my chest. My heart starts pounding; I hear the heavy striking beats. A piercing cry echoes from every corner; Rokhshana and Farkhunda’s faces, covered in blood, appear behind the coffee shop window screaming for help, their arms extended out, asking for human dignity and rights. 

My head drops low almost hitting the table. Tears flood its surface, and I try to clean them with the back of my sleeve. I can no longer hide my tears; I just let them stream down. I plead for an answer to voice Rokhshana and Farkhunda’s pain. 

How barbaric! These women get murdered, tortured, burnt, and stoned, in daylight, in front of people, by ordinary people, the people who are their countrymen. I want to scream for help for morality. I want to go to the global Supreme Court and strive for justice. Is humanity’s compassion, tolerance, and philanthropy, maneuvered and operated by geographical regions? Why can’t we value and practice freedom, love, sympathy, independence, and respect everywhere globally without any deviation? Are we all not from the same mankind? Why can’t we give every individual the opportunity to grow and have an objective reality without the importance of location, race, ethnicity, or religion? What is the difference between these women and the land they reside in? 

I swallow my sorrow as tears pour from my eyes. I ask myself, “Where is home? What can I call my land?” HOME IS WHERE HUMANITY IS.

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Parastu Ahang Mehdawi

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